Living with Broken Systems
Triggered
Last week I was at a conference learning how to profile people’s personalities through the lens of Carl Jung’s theory of cognitive processes.
Towards the end of the conference, while we were watching a live professional profiling session, I was unexpectedly confronted by an important realization about myself.
I noticed that I simply could not focus on dispassionately studying the content of the interviewee’s responses because I felt so emotionally triggered by them. The more I learned about them, the more I felt irritated and unable to focus on my analysis.
From a fascination with reality tv shows and interest in professional sports, to a stated desire for social change coupled with an apparent lack of interest in deeply studying social issues, this person represented, for me, the ultimate symbol of “everything wrong with society.”
They were kind, intelligent, passionate, loyal, open-minded, hard-working and very willing to introspect and consider other perspectives. Yet all I could see in them was my frustration with society.
Afterwards, as I reflected on the experience and tried to understand why I had become so irrationally frustrated, the realization hit me:
The anger that I feel towards society is blocking my personal growth because I haven’t fully made that anger conscious so that it can be properly processed.
There has been a powerful but quiet program running silently in the background of my mind which says:
Society is hopelessly broken. You must protect yourself from its dysfunction. You can only trust and connect with those who see this truth. Everyone else will probably hurt you and isn’t worth your time.
The source of my anger is a firmly held belief that the stark contrast between the stated purpose of our systems and their actual outcomes may doom us all.
The Old Story
To give a concrete example of the sort of contrast that has frustrated me, I’ll share a bit about how I’ve related to the United States political system.
As a U.S. citizen, I am by birthright, a member of a society governed by a set of rules with a clearly defined purpose. The constitution which, in theory, governs all of our societal interactions was established to help U.S. citizens collectively accomplish six concrete goals.1
Form a more perfect union
Establish justice
Ensure domestic tranquility
Provide for the common defense
Promote the general welfare
Secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity
I’ve seen very little evidence in my lifetime that we are successfully progressing towards these goals — and I’m not sure that I know a single person who sincerely believes that we are. I’ve been passionate about U.S. politics and current events since I was in high school, and for the most part, it has felt like our society is consciously trying to avoid these noble objectives.
As it became obvious I couldn’t directly change this reality, I concluded that minimal interaction with society was the optimal decision. I started avoiding anything I associated with mainstream popular culture like the plague.
This is why crypto was so appealing to me in the early days. It felt like the ultimate form of exit and peaceful protest, a space where I could find some degree of agency and optimism for the future. Unfortunately, crypto didn’t change human nature, and so my 12 year long obsession has left me with useful knowledge, skills, and resources, but no “solution” to my original problem.
A New Perspective
I feel grateful for the experience I had last week. Regardless of how much logic there might be in my arguments about the state of the world, it is irrational and self-destructive to let my anger bubble unconsciously under the surface. This simply leads to it being projected onto good people trying to live their lives.
Music and exercise have been my primary outlets for processing anger, but clearly they are insufficient. I have a responsibility to myself to contribute more actively to the creation of the sort of society I would like to see. This requires doing the inner work necessary for me to show up in the world as the best version of myself.
This will allow me to live and be at peace with the broken systems I’m a part of, rather than trying to rebel against them or attempt the impossible — completely escape their influence.
“The psychological rule says that when an inner situation is not made conscious, it happens outside as fate. That is to say, when the individual remains undivided and does not become conscious of his inner opposite, the world must perforce act out the conflict and be torn into opposing halves.” — Carl Jung (Aion)
https://www.archives.gov/founding-docs/constitution-transcript